Musings of a Bibliomaniac

Goodreads immigrant. Another victim of corporate tyranny. I blog at Musings of a Bibliomaniac along with my co-blogger Scarlet.

Fifty-one Shades: A Parody (First Three Chapters) - Andrew Shaffer I read the 3 chapters of this on goodreads just now (because I was aimlessly browsing through the site anyway). And boy am I glad I did. I read about the first 7 chapters of the original [b:Fifty Shades of Grey|10818853|Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)|E.L. James|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1300842729s/10818853.jpg|15732562] and was so disgusted with the author's blatant disrespect for the reader's intellect that I vowed never to read erotica again. But this parody is so worth it. Sample these and judge yourself -

I blush. “Oh, stop.”
“No, it’s true,” he says. “I have no idea what’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours...”
“To be honest, I have no idea either,” I say, looking down at the table to avoid his powerful gaze. “

“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.”

“Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna?”

The receptionist looks up from her computer. “Please sign in, Miss Steal,” she says, pushing a clipboard with an attached pen across the desk to me. “You’ll want to take the elevator and go to the ninetieth floor.”
I look at her blankly. Being from the small town of Portland, I’ve never seen an elevator before. “What button do I press to get there?”
She smiles. “The one that says nine-zero,” she says as I sign in.

The building is a ginormous 175-story office building that juts into the sky like a glass and steel erection. It’s fifteen minutes until two when I arrive – just in time for the interview. I walk through the glass doors and into the lobby, which is also floor-to-ceiling glass and steel. This fascinates me, because buildings back in Portland are made of grass and mud.


ROFL. I'll try and keep up with the chapters as they release if I get the time.

Currently reading

Edisto
Padgett Powell
The Pure Gold Baby
Margaret Drabble
The Brothers Karamazov
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Larissa Volokhonsky, Richard Pevear
Progress: 28 %